A Journey of Rediscovering Who I Am

January 18, 2025 Anticipation and Excitement: Waiting for tomorrow’s phone call feels like the night before Christmas—sitting by the tree, staring at the gifts, and eagerly waiting for time to move faster. The suspense is almost overwhelming, and I’m excited and hopeful. Hope and Prayers: I’m praying that we get the phone call and that his privileges weren’t taken away. It’s been a long, challenging week, but I’m holding onto hope that this week was better for him than his time in reception. I hope he’s feeling stronger, healthier, and more settled. Changes and Reflection: Life is definitely different now quieter and full of adjustments ; but it’s filled with love, growth, and the strength that comes from family.

The Day I Would Relive If I could relive any day, as painful as it may be, I would choose the day my triplets were born. It was a moment of profound love, overwhelming joy, and unimaginable sorrow—a day that forever changed me. It was the first and last day I held all three of my babies together, and though I cannot rewrite the outcome, I would return to that day to hold close the memory of our complete family, however brief that moment was. The triplets were a miracle, a blessing I had carried with hope and anticipation. Their arrival should have been a celebration of new life, a day filled only with happiness. Instead, it became a bittersweet intersection of life and death. Michael, David, and Joanna came into this world together, but Michael’s journey was far too short. That day was the last time I felt his heartbeat against mine, the only time I held him both in my womb and in my arms. I met him with a mother’s love and said goodbye before I had the chance to truly know him. I cann...

For My Son,  Off to Serve The day has come, the time is here, To watch you go, my heart sincere. With pride and love, I send you away, To chase your dreams, to seize your day. From little steps to standing tall, I’ve seen your courage through it all. The boy who once held my hand so tight, Now stands a soldier, ready to fight. Boots laced strong, your purpose clear, You face the world with faith, no fear. In every mile, in every test, Remember home, where love finds rest. The lessons taught, the stories shared, The laughs, the tears, the times we cared— They march with you, within your soul, A guiding light to keep you whole. Though silence now fills where laughter grew, Know every moment, I think of you. I pray for strength, I pray for peace, For honor to grow, and fears to cease. So take your stand, be brave, be true, The world will see the man I knew. And when you’re weary, far from home, Remember—you’ll never walk alone

 "The Heart of a Healer" She walks with purpose, steady and strong, A journey of courage where she belongs. With hands that comfort, a soul that cares, She gives her all, her love repairs. Once a dreamer, now chasing her goal, A healer in training, mind and soul. From textbooks and notes, she builds her way, Learning each moment, growing each day. The TEAS test looms like a mountain steep, Yet she climbs with faith, no fear to keep. Atomic bonds and elements bright, She conquers her doubts in the still of night. Her children have flown, their paths set free, But her heart remains rooted in love’s great tree. A quiet home, but a fire inside, A marriage renewed, a foundation of pride. The years may have tested her spirit and will, But resilience is hers, a gift she wields still. With every new challenge, she stands up tall, For wisdom and strength come after the fall. So here she rises, a woman of grace, With determination carved deep on her face. A chapter unfolding, her story...

 Journal Entry: January 12, 2025 Today brought a wonderful surprise—David Scott was able to FaceTime us for about 45 minutes. We haven’t received the scripted call yet, so this was an unexpected blessing. He’s still in reception due to weather delays  from the beginning of the week and the former president's funeral on Thursday, which has slowed things down significantly. He hasn’t had his haircut, shots, or other initial processing done yet, but that’s scheduled for tomorrow, followed by his transfer to basic training tomorrow evening. Despite the circumstances, he was in good spirits. It’s been cold there, and he’s spent much of his time shivering, but hopefully, winter gear will be issued soon. Unfortunately, it seems that sickness is going around. He left home feeling sick, and now it’s hit him again. I’m praying for his healing and strength, especially since the vaccines tomorrow may add more strain to his body. He’ll need all the encouragement, prayers, and positive ener...

 January 9, 2025 The past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. Our son was supposed to leave for boot camp on the 6th, but the weather had other plans. The blizzard, snow, and icy roads delayed his departure, and though it was unexpected, it gave us precious extra time with him. I soaked in those final moments, knowing how much I’d miss his presence—the way he locked his door and kept the light on late, the sound of his guitar filling the house, or his laughter as he and his sister teased each other. Last night was hard. The house felt unnaturally still. No bedroom light was glowing behind a closed door, no TV noise, no guitar strumming—just silence and darkness. It hit me that this is our new reality. The kids are grown, living their lives, and figuring things out on their own. It’s a beautiful and painful truth to accept, and I know it’ll take time to adjust. Today’s weather matches my mood—cold, gloomy, and a little snowy. To bring some warmth back, I went to the store an...

Journal Entry January 8, 2025 Today, I stepped into a chapter of my life I never truly prepared for. After over 20 years of motherhood, I realize that I’ve known how to be everything to everyone — a mother, a nurturer, a giver — but now, I’m standing on the edge of a new story. This morning, I hugged my son goodbye as he left for boot camp. I held on just a little longer, trying to be brave, trying to show the kind of courage he carries into the unknown. Yet, inside, I felt just as uncertain as he must be. We are both embarking on unfamiliar paths — him as a soldier, me as a woman rediscovering who I am beyond motherhood. For so long, my world revolved around ensuring others were safe, happy, and loved. I put myself last without hesitation. Now, with my children grown, I am learning to meet my own needs, to embrace my own happiness, and to ask, "Who am I becoming?" It’s a strange, raw, and vulnerable feeling — processing this shift from one role to another. But just like my s...

 Journal Entry — January 4, 2025 Today has been an emotional whirlwind. Weather delays threw off the original plans, but perhaps it gave me a little more time to hold onto this moment — one more precious day before the next chapter begins. I find myself reflecting on where the last 18.7 years have gone. How did time move so quickly? One moment, I was holding 2 tiny babies , learning how to navigate the delicate balance of new parenthood. Now, that baby has grown into a strong, determined young man, ready to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. It’s hard to capture what I feel. Pride swells in my chest, but it’s intertwined with a bittersweet ache. The years have been full of laughter, challenges, and lessons that shaped us both. There were countless firsts — first steps, first words, first days of school — and now, I am watching his first step into a future that will define him beyond home and family. As I prepare to say goodbye, I think about the road ahead. Boot camp will test ...